Citizen Critic Roasts Rex Reed’s Review of Once Upon A Time In Hollywood

"Once Upon A Time…In Hollywood" London Photocall

On Citizen Critic, Scott Janovitz and Greg Conley don’t bother to review restaurants, movies, or products; instead, they review the reviewers. On this episode, they celebrate Brad Pitt’s Oscar win by reading us a hilariously bad review of Once Upon A Time...In Hollywood by film critic Rex Reed, who, Scott points out, is the same guy who claims that the only reason Marisa Tomei won an Oscar for her performance in My Cousin Vinny was because the presenter read the name wrong and they were too embarrassed to fix it (among plenty of other examples of bad behavior). “What a p***k,” Scott concludes. They also laugh at Amazon reviews of the movie, as well as one-star Yelp reviews of Muso and Frank’s Steakhouse and El Coyote, restaurants that were featured in the film.

Rex wrote that the Oscar-winning Quentin Tarantino movie was “rancid, preposterous, hysterically over-the-top," "another hopped-up fairy tale” even worse than “the ghastly Reservoir Dogs” or “the screwy Pulp Fiction.” He goes out of his way to tell us that he “paid real money” to see this film in the theaters, and that “not a single person clapped during the credits.” Greg and Scott spend a little time debating the propriety of clapping after a film, anyway, likening it to clapping when an airplane you’re on lands safely: “we’re trying to have a civilization here,” Scott says. Viewers on Amazon had less-than-kind things to say, too, commenting that it’s “the worst movie of the millennium” (“So, of the last twenty years,” Greg says, and Scott replies, “And of the 980 to come”), and that “some of it could have been cut – I’m looking at you, Bruce Dern scene” (“Don’t you look away from me, Bruce Dern scene!” Greg commands. “You get back over here!”).  

As for Muso and Frank’s, the guys spend some time on two very unhappy reviewers, one of whom said the chef “should hang himself” for sending out their steaks overcooked, and a 75-year-old woman who was at first “delighted to find a restaurant that was older than myself,” but then became so annoyed that they didn’t have any seats available at the bar that she stormed out. They also roast the El Coyote restaurant for offering, specifically, a free chicken fajita to a customer suffering from food poisoning...from the chicken fajita. Listen to this episode to get some great belly laughs of your own at these reviewers’ expense, only on Citizen Critic

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